True Talk

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Let’s Talk About Extreme Self Care

Are you rushed? Does rushing leave you drained? I almost
sound like a commercial on TV, ready to send you an important
message that can change your life.

While that may be true, I am not about to ask you for money;
just lend you some simple hard truth. If you are drained, you
need to take a look at your priorities. Though typically brushed
aside, once you align your priorities in a very simple,
heart-felt stance, you will find yourself one step closer to
living in a world of extreme self-care.

While priorities may vary depending on the person and culture,
the basics never change:

Priority Hierarchy:

Faith

Family/Self

Friends/Community

When you have a foundation of beliefs and values, everything
falls into place. ~Gina Kovacs

The most basic way to honor faith and your spiritual
well-being is to be true to your self; to be honest about your
values and what is important to you and holding true to those
beliefs. Spiritual well-being means different things to
different people, but there is always a common sense of deep
inner peace and connection to a Divine force. Deep inner peace
comes when you feel truly connected to yourself and those around
you. Let’s be real. We were not put here to feel negative about
ourselves or to have self-doubt about who we are and what we are
capable of. That’s right, we weren’t. If we have these negative
emotions, we are simply creating them. And when we hold on to
those negative emotions and do not take positive action to
address feelings that make us feel unconnected to the world and
those we love and cherish, a spiral effect takes place to brings
out of balance with ourselves, what we believe in, and those
whom we come into contact with every day.

We need to be balanced and there are times when life is going to
do a wheelie on you and you have to take some hard knocks.
That’s ok, as long as we learn from them and take action to get
out of the difficult challenges that face us. Remember that God
wants us to be happy and healthy and fulfilled; to be able to
serve others in our community and to be able to rely on each
other as we walk through life and experience all the wonderful
things that are around us to experience. To be truly at peace
and feel a connection of joy and happiness with yourself and
with others allows your life to expand to experience all your
inherit talents and abilities. To be there for your self and
others. There can be no great joy than this.

Slowing down is where we can begin to care for ourselves…that
means saying no unless you must say yes and spending time doing
things that bring you joy and happiness.

Extreme self-care begins with thinking of you first. Tough
concept to take on, but one of great importance. When you are
right with yourself and take time for the things that bring you
joy and inner peace, you are in the right mind-set to filter out
so many positive and wonderful emotions to those around you that
can be a great blessing for those who are the closest to you. A
reality check is this:

How many times do you arrive home from a long day a work and
actually take the time to enjoy a nice lingering dinner with the
family? What about a long hot bath? Time for a half-hour of
reading that book you have been meaning to read?

When you schedule the time for those activities that mean so
much to you, your world will begin to align with your core
values and beliefs. You will feel more relaxed, more confident,
and more on top of the game of life instead of the game of life
being on top of you.

If this sounds elementary, it is. But a philosophy such as this
has long been neglected by the busyness of our society. Society
will not be gentle to you. Society and our culture has constant
reminders that living in the fast lane is preferable to a family
dinner or watching your child play soccer or going for a bike
ride at night.

Balance means getting real.

I have heard it often, and myself said it enough, that it is
hard to balance, work, family, and personal time into a typical
work week. Let me challenge you that it is not hard at all. It
is in a moment of decision that you can arrange your week in a
way that does not compromise your values and beliefs; to what is
ultimately important to you.

First and foremost, you do not live for your job. You work to
earn money to provide for your family or yourself if you are
single. Living your life for your job will get you nowhere and
fast. You cannot snuggle up to your computer at night or invite
your computer over for dinner. If there is one thing that will
help you in the long-run is to work your normal shift. Do not
put in the “extra” hours of work to meet a deadline. Employ the
help of your co-workers; talk to your supervisor if your
workload is heavy so that you can obtain some help. Organize
your work hours to accommodate projects so you can meet the
deadlines on time while working your normal shift. You will feel
amazingly empowered when you stick to your regular shift. The
time freed up can be used to enjoy the things you have been
missing in your life. Time to exercise, be with friends, with
family, to get that massage you have been wanting for months
because your muscles are tight from the hectic schedule you
live! No more, time to slow down.

Realization to Time and the Balance of Life

How you spend your time reveals your true priorities. Right now,
list the top five things that take up most of your time. Start
with your most pressing priorities (those items that take up
most of your time) and end with the activity that takes up the
least amount of your time.

1. ______________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________

Now, ask yourself these questions:

1. Is my life balanced?

2. Are there areas that should be listed above that are missing
from what you have labeled as a top priority that should be, in
fact, there?

3. Am I satisfied with how I am spending my time?

4. Are my priorities where they should be?

5. Does the list of priorities represent how I truly want my
time to be utilized?

6. How much time is used for my own personal time? For friends
and family?

7. Am I doing too much?

Now that you have defined what your current priorities are, it
is time to see if you need to reevaluate. Reflect on the
following:

1. What is the most important thing to you at this time in your
life?

2. Where would you like to spend more of your time?

3. If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be?

4. Are there areas of you life that could use more attention
(Health, Relationships, Spiritual Reflections, Career,
Financial)?

5. Is there a dream or desire that you have put aside that you
would truly like to see come to light?

Answering questions such as these will begin to format your
world to living to extreme self-care. Balance is truly your key
to living the life of your dreams. Do not be moving to and fro
without experiencing the fullness of your life in areas such as
these:

*Emotional and physical health *Relationships *Spiritual
well-being *Work *Service and contribution to others
*Fun/adventure/leisure

Take stock of those areas that are out-of-balance. Times when
your life feels drained and when change is required. And, in
those times of reflection, when direction is not in the
immediate foresight of your mind, take comfort in the fact that
life coaching is available as an option to you in preparation of
guiding you to the life of your dreams.

If you are at a pivot point ready for change in any area of your
life or would like to learn more about how you can begin to live
your life by your design, please contact me @ 518-373-2815 or @
gina@livingalifebydesign.com

About the Author

Gina Kovacs is a Life Coach, certifying through the Coaching
Academy of North America, Inc., specializing in the fields of
personal, relationship, spiritual, and weight loss coaching.
Gina holds a BA in Philosophy from Siena College and is an
author and motivational speaker in the field of personal and
life coaching. Please logon to www.livingalifebydesign.com for
more information on how Living by Design can help you.